What Really Happens in Therapy (And How to Know If It’s Working)
If You’ve Ever Wondered: “Is Therapy Even Working for Me?” — You’re Not Alone
Therapy can be life-changing. It can also be confusing, vulnerable, and slow at times.
Maybe you’ve just started seeing a therapist and don’t know what to expect.
Maybe you’ve been in therapy for a while and are questioning if it’s helping.
Or maybe you're on the fence about starting therapy at all.
This blog will break down:
What actually happens in a therapy session
Why it might feel uncomfortable or unclear at times
How to tell if therapy is working — even when it’s subtle
Let’s demystify the process so you can feel more confident and supported on your healing path.
What Really Happens in Therapy?
Therapy is a collaborative space where you explore your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and life experiences with a trained mental health professional.
But it’s not just about talking — it’s about healing, insight, connection, and emotional integration.
Therapy Can Look Like:
Telling your story and being heard without judgment
Exploring patterns, beliefs, and emotions you may not fully understand yet
Learning skills to regulate your nervous system or cope with overwhelm
Processing trauma, grief, or painful memories with support
Reconnecting with your authentic self and desires
Setting boundaries, exploring identity, or healing relationships
Feeling safe enough to feel what you’ve pushed down for years
It Might Include:
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) to reprocess trauma
IFS (Internal Family Systems) to connect with different “parts” of yourself
Humanistic and person-centered approaches that honor your unique story
Experiential therapy that brings emotion, creativity, or body-awareness into the process
Common Misconceptions About Therapy
❌ “Therapy should give me quick answers.”
✅ Therapy is more about discovery than advice. The goal isn’t to fix you — it’s to support you in making sense of your inner world.
❌ “If I don’t cry or have a breakthrough, it’s not working.”
✅ Not every session is emotional or dramatic. Some of the most powerful shifts happen quietly, over time.
❌ “If I’m still struggling, therapy must not be helping.”
✅ Growth isn’t linear. Sometimes feeling worse before better is part of the process — not a sign of failure.
How to Know If Therapy Is Working
Here’s what to look for beyond just “feeling better” right away:
✅ 1. You Feel More Aware
You begin to notice patterns — in your thoughts, choices, or relationships — even if you haven’t changed them yet.
✅ 2. You Feel More Safe to Be Honest
You start bringing up things you used to avoid. You can say, “I don’t know” or “This is hard to talk about,” and still feel accepted.
✅ 3. You’re Practicing New Tools — Even Imperfectly
You might pause before reacting, breathe through a trigger, or set a boundary you wouldn’t have before.
✅ 4. You’re More Curious About Yourself
Instead of self-blame, you start asking questions like:
Why do I respond this way?
Where did I learn this belief?
What does this part of me need?
✅ 5. You Feel More Seen
The right therapist reflects your truth back to you — and helps you hold what’s heavy, without shame.
What If I Don’t Feel Therapy Is Helping?
That’s a valid concern — and worth naming in therapy.
Try bringing it up with your therapist:
“I’m not sure if this is working for me.”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to be getting out of this.”
“Can we check in on my goals or direction?”
A good therapist will welcome that dialogue. Therapy is a relationship, not a performance. Your feedback matters.
And sometimes, it is about finding a better fit. You deserve to work with someone who aligns with your values, lived experience, and healing needs.
Final Thoughts: Therapy Is a Process — Not a Quick Fix
If therapy feels slow, messy, or emotional — that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It means you’re doing the real work of facing yourself with compassion.
Over time, therapy can help you:
Feel more grounded in your body and decisions
Heal from past wounds that still shape you
Rewrite the story you’ve been living inside
Reconnect with your values, identity, and purpose
Create relationships that feel safe and mutual
Ready to Begin Therapy That Centers You?
I work with adults navigating trauma, burnout, identity exploration, and life transitions — with an approach rooted in EMDR, IFS, humanistic and experiential therapies. Whether you’re new to therapy or returning again, I offer a space to explore at your pace.
Book a free consultation
Let’s talk about what you need — and what healing might look like for you.
